Why People Stop Showing Up—and How I'm Tackling It Head-On

Let’s talk about something we all feel but rarely say out loud: sometimes, showing up is hard.

Even for the most social among us, life gets busy. Plans change. Energy dips. And suddenly, that event you were excited about becomes one more thing on your to-do list. You’re not alone—and you’re not the only one who’s ever ghosted the group chat or bailed last minute.

But here’s what I’ve learned from running hundreds of events and listening to our members:

People don’t stop showing up because they don’t care.

They stop because they feel disconnected. They’re unsure if they’ll be welcomed. They’re worried they’ve been out of the group too long to rejoin. Or they simply don’t know what’s happening anymore and feel out the loop.

And when communication drops or events start to feel repetitive, it’s easy to drift away.

So what am I doing about it?

I'm not just hosting events—I'm building a community, one RSVP at a time. Here’s how:

• Fresh formats, not formulaic nights   I'm mixing things up with new venues, themes and experiences that feel exciting again. Out with the tired and old events. Bringing in Zoom chats for the darker colder nights when - let's face it - getting out is more of a struggle.

  

• Clearer, warmer reminders   No guilt trips. Just honest updates, friendly nudges and open invitations. There are no cliques just community.

• Zero awkwardness for returning members   Whether you’ve missed one event or ten, you’re always welcome back. No questions asked. No excuses needed.

• Real talk about engagement   I share our numbers—good and bad—because transparency builds trust. You’re never the only one feeling unsure.

  
  

I know that showing up is more than clicking “attend.” It’s about feeling seen, valued and part of something real. That’s the community I'm building—and rebuilding—every day. So if you’ve been quiet lately, I get it. And we’re here when you’re ready.